Life Beating Me Down

Just as I'm out having fun with the fellas tonight, life always has a way of beating me down. I knew I shouldn't have answered that text message tonight. But I did. And I paid for it.

Tonight I was enjoying the UH vs. Rice baseball game when I received a text from a number I did not recognize. Given that I lost my phone book a while back, I didn't think much of who it might be, but I had my suspicion. So when I got home from the game I replied back only to learn it was who I was afraid it would be. It was C to inform me about her wedding. What a bummer! Not what I wanted to know, but I knew it was coming. Only thing is that I've been trying to keep her in my past but somehow she just keeps coming back. It's like the world enjoys me being in the friendzone. And if it's one person that kept me there, she was definitely one of them. I do genuinely wish her well, but I also know how much she dicked me over so it's really in my best interest not to be involved with her in any sort of way.

But it is what it is. I have no plans to attend her wedding. But I will still send a gift just cuz I'm a nice guy like that.

Before this, the evening couldn't be any more perfect for this baseball game between UH and Rice. Rain in the forecast for all week but today mother nature made an exception and drove away the clouds and rain for us to enjoy this game. UH's bats were screaming today! They put up 10 runs with 2 homers before it got too late and we had to leave. And just after arriving home, here comes the rain! Wow!

In attendance was me, John, Henry, and Donny. Josh was also there and came down to chill with us for a bit.

Even having to return to work after the game was better than me having regained contact again with C. Just un-freakin-believable!

It Was All A Dream!

Something funny happened today. As I was at work and walking down the hallway, something came to me. It was a tingling sensation. No...my spider-sense was not tingling. But rather the realization that I am living out a dream. Somehow it was a well written script in my life that allowed me to come work for a company I only dreamed of working for. But yet, today, at that moment, it dawned on me it was quite real. Quite real indeed. Everything in my life so far seems to be such a well written script that I've created for myself that it almost feels like I've been dreaming all this time.

And then it occurred to me that anything in life I really focused on, I was able to make happen. Anything of importance in my life, that I've been able to really lock my focus on and give it the attention it needs have mostly panned out for me.

It started when I was put on Academic Notice while attending UH. The very following semester, I quit the going out and started hitting the books hard! Studied day and night. And saw myself come out of that scare graduating with top honors. Next came the reward for all that hard work. The company I had dreamed of working for granted me an interview. Immediately they were impressed and wanted to hire me. I truly seized the moment during my interviews to impress the Engineers. And almost 14 years later, I am highly respected by my superiors and peers. My character has always been about earning respect from those higher than me. I never wanted things to be given to me. And here I am earning every ounce of respect I have been given. It feels good! It feels damn good to go to work and know that I am respected for the work I do.

And then it dawned on me that at any given moment, I could be released from my company. The company that I have given so much of myself to. So much of me given to this company that I never really focus on leading a life outside of work. I was married to my job per say. And now I find myself without a wife and family. Something I never truly focused on cuz of work. It was always in the back of my mind, but I never really devoted myself to the cause as the things I've mentioned above. Even now, I haven't truly believe in myself that I could make that happen. Been single for so long, that it's going to be hard to compromise with another being. But I may been turning the corner soon. I do feel that I'm slowly transitioning myself to settling down. I'm not interested in being a 40-yr old bachelor, or a bachelor for life. I still would like to settle down and have a family of my own. I do hope it can happen sooner rather than later. But again, it's a slow transition. I'm not like most of my friends who were so desperate to marry and have a family.

But as far as my life is right now, I do feel a lot of the times I am living a dream. Sometimes it doesn't feel real to have such great parents, a great job, a great home, and some really good friends (who I really can't depend on...but that's another story...hahaha).

Apparent Lies

Isn't it funny how a friend can blatantly lie to you in front of your face? And isn't it funny how they think you don't know any better?

So I have a friend who I've noticed been telling a bunch of lies lately. Perhaps they're only white lies cuz it's not hurting anybody. The lies are apparently only to boost the person's pride, self esteem, and importance in this world. The person loves to share stories of the perks they get when they're out on the town. Free this, free that. Meals comped here, meals comped there. Always being taken care of everywhere they go. But I know this is far from truth cuz I've been out with this person on multiple occasions and they always seem to be getting into trouble more so than making a good impression on others and the staff that they'd be taken care of in future visits. And if this person is so being taken care of, how come they're not inviting friends, such as myself, out on the town with them? The perks always seem to come when we're not around. No matter. Again, the lies aren't hurting anyone. But it's starting to become annoying to me now that I'm starting to see the lies. It's making it more difficult for me to hang out with this person, so I've actually been trying to keep my distance. But really I have no choice in that matter cuz I've been working so much anyways. Work has kind of been a great excuse for me not to hang out with those I don't want to hang out with.

Making Gains!

Making gains! Gotta get back to it. It's been only about 3 weeks since I've hit the gym and already my body is shrinking back to it's old form. Not good at all! I've lost my guns. Not sure how long it'll take to get it back, but summer is just around the corner and I've got to get back in shape! More than just making gains, I really need to jog more to cut down on the belly fat. Starting to look a lil disgusting. Gotta get that six pack going again. I will though. Just gotta get over this hump of adjusting to working night shift again. But I did manage a small workout at home with biceps and traps. Hopefully I'll find some time Saturday to get to the gym if I'm not too tired from all the yard work that awaits me. I also gotta get a haircut. It's starting to look a lil nappy up there.

Well, this was a bit of a pointless blog, but oh well. Was just on my mind, so I wanted to write it down

Welcome Back! Where You Been?!

Holy moly! Where have you been all this time?! How you been doing?!

I can't believe I've been gone all this time! So many years have past since my last post. Not sure that I'm still the same person since I've last posted. Hopefully I haven't changed too much.

One thing for sure is I am much older and a bit wiser these days. And I take less crap from ppl. But I'll always be that "nice" guy no matter what all around me has changed.

I guess I'm back cuz I needed some form of therapy...some way to keep me distracted from my crazy life, thanks in many part to my crazy work schedule. I guess I must find some sort of comfort in this place.

For about the last 6 months I have been working crazy hours. When this nightmare-of-a-test started at work, one tech was scheduled to work the 4AM to 12PM shift while the other tech would work the 12PM to 10PM shift. For about the first two months, we would alternate our shift each week, but that took a toll on our bodies and it was like being jet lagged the entire time cuz just as you were getting used to the evening shift, now you have to wake up extra early to do the morning shift. After that second month, we decided that one person would do the morning shift and the other will stick to only night shift. That has worked out much better for our body and general health. Well, I got the night shift. The up side to this is that I get to sleep in. But the down side to this is that I no longer have a life. By time I get off work, there is no where really to go or anything to do. Can't hang out with friends cuz they're getting ready for bed. There are no healthy food options. The only places open are fast food drive-thrus.

I struggle sometimes with this schedule but I have surprised myself with how well I've coped with it. With economy being so bad and friends being laid off, I'm just happy I still have my job. So I try not to complain too much about my situation. Boo-hoo-hoo, right?! I still have my job, so STFU, right?!...is exactly what I'm thinking!

But it really does take a toll on you physically and mentally. No denying that.

I've also changed my lifestyle a bit. For the first time in my life, I actually signed up for a gym and actually went. I signed up with LA Fitness back towards end of October of last year. But unfortunately, with the economic downturn, the company is stopping the fitness reimbursement so I had to cancel my membership. $32/month was a bit expensive for my budget. I have until end of May to workout at LA Fitness. After that, I will probably sign up with Fitness Connection since it's only $10/month. I won't feel so guilty if I don't make it to the gym everyday. I know I'll get what I pay for cuz Fitness Connection is nowhere near the quality of LA Fitness.

The reason I signed up for the gym was because I didn't expect to be playing softball this year. But again, due to the economic downturn, the coach of my softball was laid off. Had he still been employed, he still would have been coach, and so I wouldn't have had a spot on the team. Signing up for the gym would have been a way for me to keep active. I know now that my body needs activity. I've been active in sports my whole life. I wasn't ready to give that part of my life up yet. And so I joined the gym.

My workouts have definitely benefited me in softball. I started off slow at the beginning of the season and after a few weeks of rain-outs, I have come back strong the last couple weeks. I've been killing it at the plate and also on defense keeping right field locked down! I've gone 5 for 5 with 2 walks the last couple weeks. And during this week's game, on defense, a ball was hit deep into right center that it had me running back with my head turned around. I did a good job keeping my eye on the ball the whole way until I had to turn my head right. That's when I lost the ball. It dropped just 2 feet away from me. Missed it!...so close...dang it! But that's alright. I picked up the ball and gunned it from deep right center to my shortstop, Taft. He then gunned it home to Marvin who caught the ball just in time for the out. Thank goodness it was Marvin behind the plate and not our regular Riga. Somehow the ball would always hit Riga in the glove but somehow he would always find a way to drop the ball. He has yet to make a play at the plate.
Then there was a shallow pop fly into right field that I had to haul ass to get to.  I had to let up a bit when I finally got there. Guess I didn't realize I still had some speed under these old legs of mine. It was a very good outing for me this week.

Well it's getting late. Time for me to turn in now. But it was really nice to be back here and posting again. I hope I can find time to do this again soon!