It Was All A Dream!
Something funny happened today. As I was at work and walking down the hallway, something came to me. It was a tingling sensation. No...my spider-sense was not tingling. But rather the realization that I am living out a dream. Somehow it was a well written script in my life that allowed me to come work for a company I only dreamed of working for. But yet, today, at that moment, it dawned on me it was quite real. Quite real indeed. Everything in my life so far seems to be such a well written script that I've created for myself that it almost feels like I've been dreaming all this time.
And then it occurred to me that anything in life I really focused on, I was able to make happen. Anything of importance in my life, that I've been able to really lock my focus on and give it the attention it needs have mostly panned out for me.
It started when I was put on Academic Notice while attending UH. The very following semester, I quit the going out and started hitting the books hard! Studied day and night. And saw myself come out of that scare graduating with top honors. Next came the reward for all that hard work. The company I had dreamed of working for granted me an interview. Immediately they were impressed and wanted to hire me. I truly seized the moment during my interviews to impress the Engineers. And almost 14 years later, I am highly respected by my superiors and peers. My character has always been about earning respect from those higher than me. I never wanted things to be given to me. And here I am earning every ounce of respect I have been given. It feels good! It feels damn good to go to work and know that I am respected for the work I do.
And then it dawned on me that at any given moment, I could be released from my company. The company that I have given so much of myself to. So much of me given to this company that I never really focus on leading a life outside of work. I was married to my job per say. And now I find myself without a wife and family. Something I never truly focused on cuz of work. It was always in the back of my mind, but I never really devoted myself to the cause as the things I've mentioned above. Even now, I haven't truly believe in myself that I could make that happen. Been single for so long, that it's going to be hard to compromise with another being. But I may been turning the corner soon. I do feel that I'm slowly transitioning myself to settling down. I'm not interested in being a 40-yr old bachelor, or a bachelor for life. I still would like to settle down and have a family of my own. I do hope it can happen sooner rather than later. But again, it's a slow transition. I'm not like most of my friends who were so desperate to marry and have a family.
But as far as my life is right now, I do feel a lot of the times I am living a dream. Sometimes it doesn't feel real to have such great parents, a great job, a great home, and some really good friends (who I really can't depend on...but that's another story...hahaha).
And then it occurred to me that anything in life I really focused on, I was able to make happen. Anything of importance in my life, that I've been able to really lock my focus on and give it the attention it needs have mostly panned out for me.
It started when I was put on Academic Notice while attending UH. The very following semester, I quit the going out and started hitting the books hard! Studied day and night. And saw myself come out of that scare graduating with top honors. Next came the reward for all that hard work. The company I had dreamed of working for granted me an interview. Immediately they were impressed and wanted to hire me. I truly seized the moment during my interviews to impress the Engineers. And almost 14 years later, I am highly respected by my superiors and peers. My character has always been about earning respect from those higher than me. I never wanted things to be given to me. And here I am earning every ounce of respect I have been given. It feels good! It feels damn good to go to work and know that I am respected for the work I do.
And then it dawned on me that at any given moment, I could be released from my company. The company that I have given so much of myself to. So much of me given to this company that I never really focus on leading a life outside of work. I was married to my job per say. And now I find myself without a wife and family. Something I never truly focused on cuz of work. It was always in the back of my mind, but I never really devoted myself to the cause as the things I've mentioned above. Even now, I haven't truly believe in myself that I could make that happen. Been single for so long, that it's going to be hard to compromise with another being. But I may been turning the corner soon. I do feel that I'm slowly transitioning myself to settling down. I'm not interested in being a 40-yr old bachelor, or a bachelor for life. I still would like to settle down and have a family of my own. I do hope it can happen sooner rather than later. But again, it's a slow transition. I'm not like most of my friends who were so desperate to marry and have a family.
But as far as my life is right now, I do feel a lot of the times I am living a dream. Sometimes it doesn't feel real to have such great parents, a great job, a great home, and some really good friends (who I really can't depend on...but that's another story...hahaha).
posted by halfhigh @ 1:16 AM
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