Mental Attraction
I think I just figured something out. I think I know why I've been having trouble being committed in relationships. Crap!...having a steady relationship for that matter.
This past year I have been making an effort to slow down on the dating scene and for the most part it's been working. I really haven't been on a real date in quite some time and I'll tell you it sux. I still go out with girls from time to time, but I always walk away at the end of the night with a pretty empty feeling that doesn't really make me want to pursue anything.
Well, I think I know why now. For the most part, I've always look for some sort of chemistry between me and the girl whether it's just looks or flirting. What never satisfies me is the lack of mental stimulation. You hear all the time about physical attraction or emotional attraction. I think for me...what attracts me the most is the ability to connect mentally (not in an insane way...I'm not that crazy). Sure, physical attraction is important but I know that looks will come and go. There's not many girls today that I can connect with mentally. They're always talking about things that don't matter, like shopping or how they don't look good with certain clothes...blah blah blah. I have yet to meet a girl that can challenge me mentally. One that will talk with me about the world, about nature, about making a difference in the world. That's what I need.
I have a female friend who I'm completely physically attracted to. We have many many things in common as well. Many friends have seen us together and they all think that we're an item when we're really not. We are just that flirtatous with each other. My buddy insists that we have more going on and that I'm not spilling the beans. Truthfully, we don't have more going on. We're just friends who happen to be physically attracted to each other. We just happen to show that in public (in which I'm not a fan of public display of affection). My other friend still does not see why we don't date. I think I have not pursued anything is because I still feel that we lack emotional attraction and now mental attraction. All we ever seem to do is hold on to each other and tease each other. But when it comes to holding a conversation...I can't even remember having a real conversation with her. It's always been hi and goodbye. Just lots of hugging and squeezing in between...hahaha. Sure, I'm not complaining about that part. What guy would? I'm just trying to make a point that I need more than just physical attraction. And I think that just occurred to me.
Crap!!!...I've been wasting all these years with clueless girls trying to find someone I could get along with when all I needed is a girl who can stimulate my mind.
This past year I have been making an effort to slow down on the dating scene and for the most part it's been working. I really haven't been on a real date in quite some time and I'll tell you it sux. I still go out with girls from time to time, but I always walk away at the end of the night with a pretty empty feeling that doesn't really make me want to pursue anything.
Well, I think I know why now. For the most part, I've always look for some sort of chemistry between me and the girl whether it's just looks or flirting. What never satisfies me is the lack of mental stimulation. You hear all the time about physical attraction or emotional attraction. I think for me...what attracts me the most is the ability to connect mentally (not in an insane way...I'm not that crazy). Sure, physical attraction is important but I know that looks will come and go. There's not many girls today that I can connect with mentally. They're always talking about things that don't matter, like shopping or how they don't look good with certain clothes...blah blah blah. I have yet to meet a girl that can challenge me mentally. One that will talk with me about the world, about nature, about making a difference in the world. That's what I need.
I have a female friend who I'm completely physically attracted to. We have many many things in common as well. Many friends have seen us together and they all think that we're an item when we're really not. We are just that flirtatous with each other. My buddy insists that we have more going on and that I'm not spilling the beans. Truthfully, we don't have more going on. We're just friends who happen to be physically attracted to each other. We just happen to show that in public (in which I'm not a fan of public display of affection). My other friend still does not see why we don't date. I think I have not pursued anything is because I still feel that we lack emotional attraction and now mental attraction. All we ever seem to do is hold on to each other and tease each other. But when it comes to holding a conversation...I can't even remember having a real conversation with her. It's always been hi and goodbye. Just lots of hugging and squeezing in between...hahaha. Sure, I'm not complaining about that part. What guy would? I'm just trying to make a point that I need more than just physical attraction. And I think that just occurred to me.
Crap!!!...I've been wasting all these years with clueless girls trying to find someone I could get along with when all I needed is a girl who can stimulate my mind.
posted by halfhigh @ 10:50 PM
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